Through wall of Depression
Through the maze of life
I am beginning to fall
But the slow movement of this clock holds me on –
Till the night signals its end
and motions us to our beds
Inside our own vacuums the voices deep
Keep going up and Down
Until sleep time we become half humans and half vampires
Ready to suck the remaining life a pity to all of us
Out like a juice tasting so good .
The juice of life and power
which survived the day drips like a sweat full of ego
Oh i am man i say and go back to bed
Not for joy pure but for The wall built between us
We survived the day
II – FOR OUR ENTERTAIRNMENT
On the Television the army bombed for ceasefire violation
And a few terrorists who lost their way
All were blown up into pieces and served to us
On a platter fresh and crispy for dinner time on
And TRUENDTV Shyly advocating the truth went unnoticed
Till the morning we sleep like a child
slowed down after the roar and fury of the day
and in the morning we fill up on the streets
For we serve and are never served an undemocratic lord
his pictures all around the streets
THE BIG BROTHER OF THE COMING COUNTLESS YEARS
and his sidekick the fat sack of rice
III – AT THE WORKPLACE
EmPTY pLACES fill up The Work PlaceS
Workers line up for food but return empty handed
Some Smile down the memory lane
When good days ushered them through and promise of full tummy
While their families back at some place
WAIT ANGUISHLY FOR A PHONE CALL
the money never comes through but the empty poisoned AIR
Some are killed in the name of GOD while others line
up on the streets and die empty stomach
what has happened to this world
OH TELL US OUR ALMIGHTY EMPEROR OR YOU THE FAT SACK OF RICE ?
is there something below or above god or
ARE we doomed to die crushed under his mighty PAW
In the evening anxiety picks up a whistle of the days end
the OWNER nager rushes through and closes
will we die in this small piece of land ?
waiting for him to return from NEVERLAND
OR SOME OTHER EXOTIC PLACE ?
IV – I find the truth
I fond the truth
without knowing why ?
I found the truth
without asking much
but still i am in search of the truth
of some god who does not exist
but still motivated us to move towards some truth
there are people who survive the days heat
and I am an exception I am a lie
or am I of some other blood or breed,
that I do not mix in eiher religious or political class
of these narcissist dogs
while I still know that I am no one
but still I count my truth as the good angel
a bearer of good days and end to this OLD MAN AND FAT SACK OF RICE RULE .
while people slowly submerge and become me
the truth will be found immediatley .
But still the loneliness in this crowd –
what i have felt always
they corner you and move away into shadows
hard to trace –
wherever you go you feel alone but their idologies they
carry with them
all empty talks of older generation –
what use when you are still left alone
without a hand to lead you home .
HATRED CANNOT BE AN IDEOLOGY LET THE SAFFRON BEARERS
AND THAT LOVE TRIUMPHS EVERYTHING
I hit a wall
and fell back stumbling and then got up
only to see myself move forward again
again the mighty world
surrounded me with question and questions
to which i never had any answers
am i ultimately lost
or am i still finding my way through this desert .
Why are the people around me,
So unknown to me,
Why is there so much of a distance,
This connection cannot it be settled,
And laid down to an easier one,
why are we so complex,
why are we so frozen,
like people who hate each other .
This pushing each other off the edge
to get ahead has tied us into slavery
This Slavery to become bad
This slavery to hatred
Just for todays bread
Just to satiate your ego
Just to get ahead
win what ?
when all will finally get out of your hand
I AM LONELY
DON’T YOU THINK YOU CAN
BREAK THROUGH THIS HATRED WALL
AND REACH OUT ?
AND END MY LONELINESS
I notice some faces infront of me everyday,
I notice them each day freezed in time,
But i dont recogonize mine,
Cause i dont exist in their cells .
I sit separately on a chair –
sharing emptiness next to me-
an emptiness of space and feelings
they do look at me at times,
but only to look away .
Grabbing my head he slaps me twice
and then calls me ugly names,
but i wait and recogonize it is not my fault
but theirs ,
they can’t take whats different and I am
not like them .
He laughs again the boy who caused me
all the shame ,
he laughs and knows that he is a kleptomaniac,
but still teachers accuse me for all the fault is mine –
the guy with the tanned skin –
has no worth in their eyes .
But i know someday i will slip away
through all the abuse and shame,
I can feel it in my fingers this Bullying
wont last when i finally slip away-
from their hands.
That classroom is just an empty space .
Where do we begin – maybe at a point where things just give you a push or at a point where you realize that yes this is the point .
I think mostly we are perceived by a single truth in life that is we need to keep going on and on for a fundamentally truthful and Existentially Meaningful life , we as humans are all striving towards some meaning, but what is that meaning no one knows or might never come to know , some great Philosophers have said that one should work without thinking what profit one would acheive from it . I think they said this because this would help one to become a better person or maybe this would mean that Work should only be done for one purpose – For Enjoyment .
So where do we begin or at what point do we tell ourselves that yes this is the moment and this is the second to grab at the opportunity – I guess no – at this moment we should all stop and think that we dont start because we have some where to reach , we start because we have no other option, to make meaning out of our lives we will have to start and we will have to keep pushing ourselves till the last.
There is no beginning or end there are only moments every second every minute these moments keep a track of what we are doing or where we are heading. Moments keep coming and coming hence they equalize to the full life of a person , the full life of a person is only created through these moments – so Don’t Start because there is a Becoming or a Reward to be achieved , but start because the whole history of creation speaks about it , the Universe has been expanding for so many billions of years until a point came where Earth came into existence and Humans in it , These did not happen because there was a reward to be achieved from it , but it happened because of a law and because there was no other way .
So starting is a beginning but with a hope that more will keep coming.
I met my accountant today he sat up as soon as he saw me come in and asked if i had paid my monthly tax of last month. Spontaneously i told him that i had, he waited a moment and then asked me that why i hadn’t told him I said that i had forgot and hadn’t he received the receipt of it .
He sat up again and said that i was too slow at this job and that the previous guy was much better , though i thought that it was too harsh the guy spoke that way , I quickly realized that he was a moody guy and that such things were bound to come out of his mouth. Mr S was always a moody guy , That’s why my dad never goes to him he sends me in his place. He speaks of things in a very serious manner as if everything was coming to an end and there is no way out , That also because he has problems at home, with his irresponsible son who lives in New Zealand but still survives on his dad’s income , and maybe his wife also who supports her sons unfortunate behavior .
But what do we learn from such things , we learn that life is a continous fight and things dont come to an end in an instant if you and I are always up for fighting hard to come out of our situations we can always become better human beings and be much happy . The joy at not responding to such debasements is also something great , it puts on touch to the surface of the earth the place where we should always be , one quick realisation out of such incidents is also that People will be the way they are and it shouldn’t impact our existence or make our life even worse than theirs , we should keep striving to better ourselves through such experiences .
Here I am today and its such a wonderful day then why worry keep living and be happy no matter what .
The World as we see it is complicated and largely driven by motives , what are these motives and why do they exist no one knows , even Stephen Hawking says that the world or the universe is the way it is so as to support intelligent life, Life that can support existence of beings who could watch and enjoy .
But sometimes we just shut down ourselves and see only the negative things , we are upset because of the people around us or because nobody admires us, then when such thoughts strike us we are complete fooled into anxiety and sadness , why do we need such stresses in our life and what is the meaning of it all- Nothing
This meaningless anxiety and worry is only because we are part of all those lives that stress us , we have become part of them or we have become them in general , but to come out of such trouble is to easily look at the situation the situation is because we are worrying when there is nothing to worry or think about .
The World is the way it is because Human Beings in general want a life that will lead to their well being or comfort- thus such a selfishness can only lead to the discomfort of others .
If the Right Wing party in India is radical or religious and thinks on persecuting the Minority it is because they are that way , their thoughts, actiosn and ideologies all are for their own well being and not for the well being of those who belong to some other religion or who are different from them
Thus to be in normalcy one has to lead a life which hardly disturbs the peace and sactity of others lives and such life would only be lead to happiness and joy